Nope, it doesn’t happen. It’s a fictional situation made up to create dramatic stories, like the 2003 movie Identity. It was one of the first questions I asked my therapist, convinced that something stupid I’d done over the years might have actually killed part of myself.
Nobody can be voted off the island, kicked out of the brain house, put in the containment containment zone, or erased from your mind. I promise. If you don’t believe me, just ask your therapist.
Your alters – the dissociated parts of your identity – consist of neural pathways in your brain that have been created and reinforced your entire life. Those pathways can adapt and change over time, they can be lit up or dim, but they can’t be suddenly, drastically changed. They can’t be erased, not even if you wanted to.
So, where’s your missing part?
Well, try to think about what might have triggered them to the back. How much stress are you under? Has that part been carrying a heavy burden for a while? What are you spending your time on? With who? How does that part of you feel about your recent activities or relationships? Has anything in your environment changed recently?
Be curious, patient, and compassionate.
Ask your other parts if anyone knows what happened. Keep up with the missing parts interests and commitments, and pull the team together until you can reconnect. Do things that part found engaging or soothing. Make sure they know you miss them.
Most importantly, don’t panic – it’s “normal” in DID. Everybody needs a little break sometimes.
– Work Pupper